Upon awakening spiritually, I eventually ended up being depressed about my spiritual life and it was all I could do to do physical activities to hold onto my existence as a being. Activities such as going to the gym or doing something that I used to enjoy just for the sake of hanging onto my grip on life and not falling into oblivion. Plus my spiritual life sucked, so focusing on the physical was almost an escape from that life to some degree. It was as if I had two lives. One spiritual and one physical and somehow I separated them mentally. When I focused on my spiritual life which was a depressing dump, I just felt endless sorrow, grief and emotional pain. So I focused on my physical life to get away from my spiritual life so i could remain "livable".
An interesting thing about spiritual depression is that, when I cried tears, it didn't feel like it was coming from me but more like it was my soul that was crying and using my body as a medium to cry human tears. That it would have cried with or without a body but since it was incarnated in one it's crying was human. Weird stuff huh. Well I hope that you reading things can relate otherwise this probably sounds like I'm on some hallucinogenic weed or something. I can assure you it's all me.
Now, if being depressed spiritually wasn't depressing, just going through it depressed me even more and what's worse is that I can't talk about it with anyone because it would just go right over their heads and I'd be met with blank faces. May worried faces and ones that have their phone out to call for help.
If you are able to relate to this and know exactly what I'm talking about, I am so sorry. I could not wish this on any enemy. It is spiritual torture and agony and of course emotions and the mind are all drawn into this mumbo jumbo. I advise seeking out a good psychic to help guide you back to the Light. This is all obviously a spiritual issue. Life would be WAY more simpler if I didn't have a soul but then I'd be a zombie.
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